That's never who I was
by crisser
Summary: Michael knows he is about to die, and spends his final few moments recording a video message to Sara, telling her the truth about himself. (Alternative ending to 5x03 - the liar)


_Sooo listen up. In the last scene of 5x03 when michael records that video message to sara, I noticed that a few lines also kinda worked backwards. And yeah, this weird thing happened in my head. Because obviously i can never get enough of tortured!michael. I hope you ~enjoy._

* * *

He clasped the phone in his cold and sweaty hands, watching as the last juice of the battery drained rapidly, just like the rest of his life. He could very well be dead this time tomorrow, if Abu Ramal had his way. And since he was a vicious terrorist leader, it was safe to assume he always got his way. Michael had certainly been around him long enough to know that that was true.

If tonight was his last night on earth, if he'd never see another distant sunset through the steel-barred Ogygia windows and think of her, then he had to tell her the truth.

"Sara," he said when the video started recording. His voice cracked when he said her name aloud for the first time in years. "I hope this message finds you, because there is something you need to know."

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. When he did, he could feel the tears roll down his face. He didn't want to tell her the truth this way, but he had to. She had to know the truth about him.

"I'm in solitary right now, and when they release me tomorrow that'll be the end." He opened his eyes and saw his own grief-distorted face on the small screen. "I want you and Lincoln to get my body back to the States. I want you to have a funeral for me, and I want you to say goodbye. But if you don't want to after what I'm about to tell you, I will understand. I won't hold it against you."

Another tear escaped his left eye. It lingered on the top of his cheek, but it didn't seem ready to let go yet.

"The thing is... I need you to write a few things on my headstone." He swallowed around the dry lump forming in his throat. "Father. Husband. Brother. And... Kaniel Outis."

He had no idea what Sara would think of him once she learned the truth, but it was too late to take it all back now. And the realization that she'd soon know the real him made him push through the pain.

"Michael Scofield, the man I've always been..." He exhaled shakily, and in a twisted way it almost sounded like a laugh. "Make them put my _real_ name, because that's never who I was. Everything about Michael Scofield was a lie, and he was only supposed to be my facade until Lincoln was out of Fox River and in safety."

"But you... this whole lie was for you. Nothing made me want to become Michael Scofield more than you. I wanted to be that man for you, the father and the husband that you could love and be proud of. But my real identity was bound to catch up with me, so I left. I left you behind to end Kaniel Outis once and for all. That was seven years ago and I still haven't managed to kill him. I never will. I will die as Kaniel Outis, just as I was born. And I will never get to see my son."

The meaning of his words caught up with him and he felt as though they would rip him to shreds from inside. He covered his eyes with one of his tattooed hands and tried to keep the pain at bay.

 _Just for another minute,_ he told himself with an exhale, removing his hand from his face.

"I never stopped loving you. You'll see I loved you. I was never Michael Scofield, but I love you. You have to believe me."

The tear on his cheek that had been desperately hanging on finally lost its grip and let go. It fell to the floor soundlessly.

"But maybe it doesn't matter, because I'll be dead."

* * *

Sara covered her mouth with her hands when the video went black. After the first video Lincoln had sent her from Yemen, she knew a second one would be just as heart-wrenching. She hadn't considered the possibility that the second one could've been _even worse_.

She reached her hand out and touched the screen of her phone, her face streaked with silent tears.

Her voice only came out as a strangled whisper.

"You were always Michael Scofield to me."


End file.
